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Here we have compiled a list of 60 best funny quotes by Betty White. Everyone knows Betty White for her humorous acting with her famous punch lines. She was born in Oak Park, U.S., on January 17, 1922. She worked for more than seven decades in the television industry.
Betty White was the first woman to work in front of and behind the camera. She was known for the great work done by her in the industry rather than for being the first woman to produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in the United States. Betty White was also referred to as the “ First lady of Television,” a title used in 2018 for a documentary portraying her life and career.
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60 Best Funny Quotes by Betty White
So here are 60 best Quotes by the legendary Betty White that will make you laugh.
1. “I have no regrets at all. None. I consider myself to be the luckiest old broad on two feet.”
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2. “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
3. “Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”
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4. About being called a “legend:” “I just laugh. Have I fooled them?”
5. “Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”
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6. Don’t be afraid to create your own definition of “healthy.”
7. “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
8. “I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot.”
9. “There’s no right or wrong way to deal with grief.”
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10. “You know people who are already saying, ‘I’m going to be 30 – oh, what am I going to do?’ Well, use that decade! Use them all!”
11. To tell a dirty joke you must first understand the art behind it.
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12. “In my head, I’m the ultimate cougar. Animal lover.”
13. “My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’”
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14. “Butterflies are like women — we may look pretty and delicate, but baby, we can fly through a hurricane.”
15. “Everybody needs passion. That’s what keeps life interesting. If you live without passion, you can go through life without leaving any footprints.”
16. “So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game.”
17. “My philosophy for staying young is [to] act bubbly every day, drink bubbly every birthday!”
18. “Don’t try to be young,” she told The AP. “Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about, but I’m still curious about them.”
19. “Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticise. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.”
20. “Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don’t get that laugh, there’s something wrong.”
21. “My answer to anything under the sun, like ‘What have you not done in the business that you’ve always wanted to do?’ is ‘Robert Redford’.”
22. “I’ve always liked older men. They’re just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren’t many left!”
23. “Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things really take a pounding!”
24. “If one has no sense of humour, one is in trouble.”
25. “It is important that you not believe your own publicity. Be grateful for whatever praise you receive, but take it with a grain of salt.”
26. “Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don’t get that laugh, there’s something wrong.”
27. “I married my first husband because we wanted to sleep together. It lasted six months and we were in bed for six months.”
28, “I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.”
29. “I know it sounds corny, but I try to see the funny side and the upside, not the downside. I get bored with people who complain about this or that. It’s such a waste of time.”
30. “The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot … It’s much more competitive now, because the audience is so much more … I want to say ‘sophisticated.’”
31. “I’ve always liked older men. They’re just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren’t many left!”
32. “Oh, I don’t need sleep. I just went to my hotel and had a cold hot dog and vodka on the rocks.”
33. “You don’t fall off the planet once you pass a given age. You don’t lose any of your sense of humour. You don’t lose any of your zest for life, or your lust for life.” – Today, 1991
34. “You can always tell somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
35. When Johnny Carson asked Betty White what she does in her free time, she replied, “Ummm, well, vodka is a hobby.”
36. “I don’t seem to require a lot of sleep … If I get four, five good hours, I’m fine. But sleeping is sort of dull. There’s a lot of other good stuff that you can do without just lying down and closing your eyes.”
37. “If you’re walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic … I still like to see a man open the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing.”
38. “I think everybody needs a passion. Whether it’s one passion or a hundred, that’s what keeps life interesting.”
39. “I know it sounds corny, but I try to see the funny side and the upside, not the downside. I get bored with people who complain about this or that. It’s such a waste of time.”
40. “Well, I mean, if a joke or humour is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that it’s got to be funny.”
41. “Humor is like music. It’s a rhythm, and you just kind of get the rhythm of it, and you have to know not to let the beat go too long, but to leave a beat in there for it to gel, you know.”
42. “I know unless I’m true to myself I couldn’t be happy. Too much emphasis is placed today on externals and too little on character.”
43. “I’m a teenager trapped in an old body.”
44. “But sweetie, I don’t think of all this as work. It’s fun. I’m so grateful for my good fortune.”
45. “I love children, the only problem with children: they grow up to be people, and I just like animals better than people. It’s that simple.”
46. Chivalry is a disappearing quality, and one worth saving.
47. “Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.”
48. “If a guy’s that cute, you’ve got to tap that booty.”
49. “I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.”
50. “Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.”
51. “I didn’t choose to have children because I’m focused on my career. And I just don’t think, as compulsive as I am, that I could manage both.”
52. “Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”
53. What she did for exercise: “I have a two-story house and a very bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs.”
54. “If you catch me talking to an empty chair… it’s time to up my meds!”
55. “Friendship takes time and energy if it’s going to work. You can luck into something great, but it doesn’t last if you don’t give it proper appreciation.”
56. Never underestimate the power of maintaining a sense of humour.
57. “My answer to anything under the sun, like ‘What have you not done in the business that you’ve always wanted to do?’ is ‘Robert Redford’.”
58. “Animals are near and dear to my heart, and I’ve devoted my life to trying to improve their lives”
59. “I do mental exercises. I don’t have any trouble memorising lines because of the crossword puzzles I do every day to keep my mind a little limber.”
60. “I’ve worked with the Morris Animal Foundation for over 50 years, I’ve worked with the Los Angeles Zoo for over 50 years … at one point, I said nobody was addressing pain in animals… I said, “Okay, I’ll start it.”
Summary
In this article, we shared the 60 best funny quotes by Betty White. We hope you liked these quotes, and if you had a good laugh, please don’t forget to share them with your friends and loved ones. Also, bookmark The Quotes Flix to read motivational and inspirational quotes on various topics.